Words are not sufficient to describe the love I experienced today from family, friends and even the police officer that pulled me over!  His wasn't to wish me a happy birthday, tho~the new registration sticker on the van hasn't come yet and when I drove by him, I smiled, praying, "Oh, God, not today...not on my day"!  I also didn't have the current insurance card in the van or an updated address on my license!  But he was polite to me and reminded me to drive safely and told me the ticket will probably be dismissed if I fax over or take the proof of the receipt to the judge on May 27th! 

I woke this morning with thoughts that were oppressive and destructive to my joy...thoughts I knew were coming from the enemy of my soul because he didn't want me to enjoy the anniversary of my 46th birthday!  I saw it, Praise God, and began to think on things that I knew would please my Daddy as well as the many things I am thankful for.  I imagined all the traps set up to destroy me along the road of the journey called life and how, by His love and protection I am who I am today.  Then I was excited to start the day!

The first call came before 9 am from my granddaughter, Hailey!  She sang to me and added a "Ooohh who" after every line!  My first highlight of the day~!  The highlights continued...Lynette and Cleto gave me clothes and a card.  I was able to go to the store and exchange the sizes and get myself a sweater jacket that I love; while I was at the store, Ashley called me from Spain and she didn't even know it was my b-day, and  then when I got home, Josh and Dan were here and there was a huge box on the table waiting for me! 

Josh bought me a copier, scanner, printer to print my pictures!  I love how that 'kid' knows what makes me tick...someday, some woman is gonna be so happy!!!  My 'fear' is that I won't get all the attention, like I do now!  That's ok, as long as they give me lots of grandchildren!  I'll have all the attention I need then.

Then on to SeaWorld!  That was such a blast.  I rode a roller coaster, something I wouldn't normally do!  And then later we went on this ride called, "The Journey to Atlantis".  It's a water ride that dropped down from only God knows how high...as Dan (who sat next to me on both rides) and I were about to go over the top and drop, I had this thought out loud, "This is what faith is like!" very loudly...awesome!

But I think the highlight of the entire day was walking through Sea World and talking to Jesus as if He was walking next to me and knowing that I was spending the day with Him.  He was there with me...I felt Him, felt His love as I drove to Walmart earlier and exchanged the clothes...I wept on the way and my heart felt like it was gonna burst.  I felt so loved by Him today.  Really, I did. 

I made a decision this morning not to have any expectations anymore when it comes to this day...for years I allowed unmet expectations, disappointments and unfulfilled desires to rob me of just enjoying Him and His gift of life to me.  I can't explain what a difference this has made in being able to celebrate and be celebrated! 

It was such a joy to be with all the boys and Jef. 

Only wish the rest of the clan had been here to play together with!

The part closed at 5 and when we got home, I got some Samuel time outside, called my sister and then my friend, Della, who sent me the coolest little 'ditties' to enjoy!~  Lynette made us all supper and I got the special plate, as well as a cake and she decided that I was only 37, not 46! 

As I type, the little boys are sleeping soundly on the floor next to me and Jef smells good after his shower and I long to rest securely in his love.  I am such a blessed woman.

This is one birthday that will go down in history; for I grew closer to my Daddy and family and learned that this journey is the ride of a lifetime.  

Ya know, enjoying a spring day at the second oldest park in this country makes me 'feel' as if I've been transported back in time. 

Yesterday, we celebrated Samuel's first birthday with his relatives as well as our church family at San Pedro Springs Park and I was transfixed by the beauty of it. The trees are 'ginormous'...bigger than any in Buffalo or anywhere I've ever been and the lake was tranquil.  I would love to be able to visit there on a weekly basis.  So open and peaceful...despite all the people. Should we move into an area nearby, I've found the place for the boys to climb trees to their heart's content.

What is it about trees that causes me to just stand and stare?  To think they began from a seed?  Something so small that it could be held in one's hand and now so large that if it fell, it would crush. The trees are cypress, as well as Spanish oaks.   I've asked God for some in my yard!

I know I can learn from trees.  Particularly these kinds.  The cypress is strong; not going anywhere anytime soon, the branches of the cypress are not fat, they're skinny and they don't begin to have branches down low at all.  I read that they are coniferous, but they're not evergreen trees...that's so funny since they have tiny little needles on them, not leaves. 

The branches of the Oak are like tentacles that spread out and are absolutely wonderful for climbing on!    

Fascinating.  Just like my Daddy to expand my horizons and whet my pallet for more of His beauty and creativity.  I am so lovin' Him.  His power and might are so captivating and breathtaking. 

My wonderful love shared the Word on John 15 tonite and although the picture depicted is one of dried fruit on the vine, the reality is that my life must remain attached to the Vine in order to bear fruit that displays the glory of God and is fragrant and delicious.  The test is whether I am abiding as evidenced when the winds and storms of life blow; and they do. I have been learning that I cannot just hear the Word and do nothing with the Living Word in my everyday life.  If I do that then I have fruit rotting on the vine (or no fruit, just withered branches) and I am useless to feed anyone.  Fruit is meant to be eaten.  All the fruit I'm aware of is sweet, as well...although bananas are only really sweet when they are almost spoiled...the blacker the skin, the sweeter the banana!  (Another thought for another post! ;) 

 It's when the seed of Truth is planted (I hear the Word), and I nourish the seed with my actions (faith)~our obedience to the Word-Jesus, and I allow that nourishment to cause the seed to grow and THEN I catch glimpses of His Life flowing out...fruit...love (the first fruit people see), joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control.  The 'yardstick' of love: I am patient, kind, I'm not jealous, boastful or proud or rude...I don't demand my own way, I'm not irritable, I keep no record of being wronged, I'm never glad about injustice, but I rejoice whenever the truth wins out.  I  
   never give up, I never lose faith, I'm always hopeful, and I endure through every circumstance.  This is only possible by abiding in the Vine. 

The kicker is that when I begin to bear fruit, He prunes me so I can bear more fruit...that word prune means 'clean'...and He said I am  already clean because of the Word he's spoken; but in order to bear more fruit, I must continue....stay, remain in Him and allow His Spirit in me to remove all the dirt.   His very great and precious (valuable, costly, honored, esteemed) promises (a self-committal (by assurance of conferring some good) are the very thing that cause me to become a partaker of His divine nature, as well as escape the corruption that's in the world through lust-that which rots the fruit on the vine.

I purpose to remain attached, thirsting, drawing my very life from the Vine. 

Father, You have so lavishly given me everything I need for this life and to be godly like You. Thank you.

  I love you, Daddy.  

This morning, I was chatting with Cleto about our individual walk with God and His desire for fellowship with us and he spotted this picture that depicted what we were sharing about.  It seems that the distractions that keep us from time with our Daddy Scream at us and lie to us.  As if those things could ever satisfy the hunger in us...shallow things...vain, hollow, eternally devoid of Life.

Today I saw, firsthand, how our enemy works to rob us of time...time to enjoy each other.  There was an incident with the children in regard to sitting at the little school table we have.  Selfishness reared its ugly head, then swords were drawn and hearts sliced with words...by the time I came back outside, there were wounds on all their little hearts and the damage was evident on the cheeks of the one most vulnerable...So, after a process of guarding my own heart and praying for wisdom, I proceeded to deal with the boy's hearts and their issues.  The heart is deceptive and perception is just that, our perception...and our adversary lurks for an opening to whisper in their ears..."Daddy loves her more than you...""She treats her better than you..."  Liar...what we see is not what is real...offence lingers in corners, dark places ready to pounce whenever we are required to get out of our comfort zone and if we have any doubts about the Truth.

...our children are loved. The doubt speaks: "Does daddy and mommy love you?" They are treasured.  The question: Why does mommy always treat her better than us?"  Their needs are met.  Question:  "Why does she always get what she wants and we don't?"...How subtle and yet destructive...we are not ignorant of his devices and we will train our children to sense the unseen and submit their thoughts to God .  Take every THOUGHT captive and every thing that raises itself against the knowledge of God... 

And Jesus requires us to lay down our life for one another...whether we're nine, six, sixty-seven or ninety-one!  If daddy asks Malorie to sit next to him, then the Father in heaven is asking Isaac to lay down his life and believe that his father's love is available and that his Heavenly Father is desiring him to yield his right to that place next to daddy.  Opportunity is the mindset I desire to teach the boys.  There are opportunities we miss because of selfishness. 

Motherhood is an all-encompassing career...anyone who thinks otherwise has deceived themselves.  The time required to impart His truth and Life demands that we set aside our agendas, our goals and see the Higher goal...to impact history, and fit each child for his God-given task to take the kingdom by force...how can we do that if we're too busy with our own agendas?  Too involved in things that don't have any eternal value...yes, laundry has to be done, and teaching the wee little ones how to do it is education, affecting history...teaching work as a gift from God, valuing time spent together.

So, although the enemy attempted to trip us and steal our time, he, liar that he is, took a vicious blow as we saw his deception, purposed to overcome evil with good and to walk in the power of the Love of God that is poured out in their little hearts.  What a treasure to know that my toil in the Lord is not in vain and that these children are blessed on this earth.  We are more than conquerors, His joy is my strength and the victory has already been won...now, I'm gonna continue to be violent against his assaults on those I love and those who do not know this loving God I serve. 

Well, it's been five weeks and one day since we filled our host's garage with all our 'stuff' and today I, then with Jef's help (he wants it to be known that he took over for me when he got home!), moved around and organized all of it. I also reminded myself of what I owned (just goes to show how little we really need to live!).  It was like Christmas when I found stuff like the drawers to the desk I'm sitting at, the apple slicer, the LEFT-HANDED potato peeler, and my heating pad~ I need that due these overused muscles, as well as feeling like I've been hit by a bus when I awake in the morning lately.  Praise God for His strength and motivation to get the job done. 

The reason for the title is that every day I'm finding that Jesus, You are at the center of all I'm involved in.  Whether it's ripping up a rug, washing the floor, holding Samuel and rocking him, or sitting in the yard watching the birds enjoy a drink from the birdbath!  There is contentment in knowing You.  Knowing You see it all, take note, and today, You said that You love those who love You and those who search for You will surely find You.  I am searching for you in this place of surrender to what I want or think I need. 

The road that leads to Life is narrow and few are they that find it...if there's one thing that I will pursue until I breathe my last, it's to walk down that narrow road holding Your hand, Jesus, every step~ and listening to Your voice tell me the exact places to set my feet.